No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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