hell yes lets make some ravioli
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
