his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
