Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you didnt know i had herpes?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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