And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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