Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
