apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
