I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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