I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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