on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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