fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
