His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
