I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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