hotel room ftw
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
