my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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