I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
