just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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