Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
