Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
