I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
