The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize