just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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