Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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