his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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