I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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