After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Shame is for Republicans.
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