Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
