last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
