my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
