I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
