my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
