Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
