this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize