Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
