If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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