At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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