so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
