Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
