that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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