Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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