she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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