One girl and one boy is just not enough.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize