You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
