i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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