Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
