Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
