That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
