if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
