ugly people sure do ruin things
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
