All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
