You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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