Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
