Will you blow on my dice?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
