Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
