I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
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