Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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