I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
