a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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