Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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