Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
