just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Found the puke drawer
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
