He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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