its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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