is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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