Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
