$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
stop calling my apartment porn island.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize