I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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